Why Self-Care Is the Secret to a Stronger Marriage and Happier Motherhood
For most of my life, I believed a lie.
That the best way to be a good wife, a good mother, a good woman… was to give everything of myself until nothing was left.
But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: when I gave until I was empty, I became bitter, resentful, and disconnected. My marriage almost ended. My children modeled my exhaustion and frustration. I had abandoned myself - and no only I could save me.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that selflessness is the highest virtue of womanhood. “Good mothers” are always available. “Good wives” never say no. “Good women” put everyone else first.
But here’s what no one tells you: you can’t build a life of love and connection on a foundation of depletion. Resentment grows in the cracks. Exhaustion becomes the air you breathe. And eventually, you stop recognizing the woman in the mirror.
The Truth About Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish.
It’s self-leadership.
When you choose to care for your body, your mind, and your spirit, you’re not abandoning your family, you’re saving them. Because the truth is, your wholeness is the well from which everyone else drinks.
Think about it: how do your kids feel when you’re burnt out, snapping, stretched thin? How does your marriage feel when you’re resentful and disconnected?
Now imagine the opposite. Imagine your kids seeing you laugh, dance, and rest. Imagine your partner watching you reclaim your sensuality and your joy. Imagine your home infused with a mother who is nourished, vibrant, and alive.
That’s the power of filling your own cup first.
Simple Practices to Begin Your Self-care Journey
If you’ve been living in survival mode, start small. Self-care doesn’t have to mean a week-long retreat (though I won’t say no to that either). It can begin with five sacred minutes.
Breathe: Take time to pause and take a few minutes of slow, grounding breaths.
Move: Put on one song and let your body move however it wants - shake, sway, dance.
Adorn: Put on the earrings, the dress, the lipstick - whatever makes you feel alive.
Ask yourself daily: What do I need today to feel nourished?
These little acts add up. They remind you that you matter.
So let’s bury the lie once and for all: you are not selfish for choosing yourself.
You are sovereign. You are whole. You are the well that waters your marriage, your family, and your community.
Fill your cup. Tend your soul. Dance yourself back to life.
Your family will thank you. And more importantly, you’ll thank yourself.
If this resonates, and you’re ready to move from resentment and exhaustion into joy, intimacy, and fulfillment, I just launched a 5-Day Self-care Reset Workshop that is designed to bring you back to life in just a few minutes a day and in less than a week. And, it's only $5 to join. Get it here.
