How to Reclaim Pleasure & Sensuality - After Kids, Midlife and Long-term Partnership

Listen to the accompanying podcast here.

For too long, women’s bodies, desires, and pleasure have been shrouded in silence and shame. Many of us grew up without open conversations about sex, intimacy, or even our own cycles. That silence has left generations of women disconnected from their bodies and their birthright of pleasure.

But here’s the truth: it’s never too late to start reclaiming that connection.

Many women reach adulthood without a real understanding of how their bodies work. Cycle awareness, sexual health, and the language of pleasure were never taught - or worse, were taught with fear and shame attached. Reversing that conditioning starts with education and open dialogue.

When we begin to name things openly (periods, arousal, pleasure) we take away the taboo and create space for curiosity, growth, and empowerment.

Sensuality & Desire

One powerful reframe is understanding the difference between sensuality and sexuality. Sensuality is about fully engaging with your senses (smelling the flowers, savoring your food, feeling the sun on your skin). This sensory awareness spills over into the bedroom, where intimacy can deepen when we’re truly present with ourselves and our partners.

As women move through midlife, spontaneity in intimacy often fades. What becomes necessary is intention: creating environments that nurture connection, slowing down, and inviting pleasure back in.

Desire isn’t always spontaneous, especially in long-term relationships. Many women beat themselves up, thinking something is “wrong” when the sparks don’t just appear on their own. But there’s another kind of desire, responsive desire, that is triggered by external cues, such as physical touch, kissing, affection, or an emotional connection, rather than arising spontaneously from within

By cultivating the right environment, tending to our senses, and letting go of pressure, women can rediscover desire in a sustainable, nourishing way.

Communication & Mindfulness

Real intimacy requires communication. Speaking honestly about desires, needs, and boundaries breaks the monotony and allows relationships to evolve. Pair this with mindfulness, which is mainly staying present in the moment, and intimacy becomes less about performance and more about connection.

When we bring mindfulness into sex, it shifts from “checking a box” to savoring an experience.

Pleasure is not indulgence: it’s medicine.

It’s empowerment. It’s a vital part of well-being.

Pleasure extends far beyond sex. It’s the softness of a hot bath, the joy of moving your body, the delight of a good meal, the thrill of creativity. When women prioritize pleasure and self-care, they build resilience. Even in times of grief or hardship, pleasure can be a lifeline back to wholeness.

Reclaiming pleasure is not just about better sex - it’s about living a fuller, richer life. By breaking the silence, dismantling shame, and choosing to embrace our bodies, women can step into empowerment that radiates into every part of life. And when we model that freedom, we open the door for future generations to grow up unashamed, informed, and deeply connected to themselves. Reach out to work with me if you're ready to reclaim your sensuality, pleasure and selfhood.