7 Healthy Way to Manage Stress During Pregnancy
When I was pregnant with Aurora, my midwife told me something I’ll never forget. She said, “smoking a cigarette when you're stressed out isn’t as bad for your baby as being stressed out.” What?! I was a smoker when I became pregnant with Aurora at 21. I immediately quit. But I admitted to my midwife at an appointment later in my pregnancy that my marriage was feeling more and more rocky since her conception, and that the stress was causing me to crave smoking again. I didn’t take the habit back up, but those words really stuck with me. How could worrying about my marriage be worse than ingesting carcinogenic chemicals?
Turns out, it is. Maternal stress has been linked to all kinds of poor outcomes for baby. One study concludes “exposure to maternal…psychosocial stress exert programming influences on the developing fetus with consequences for infant stress regulation.” Meaning, our response to stress during pregnancy can determine our baby's response to stress after she is born. And other studies show this effect can last a lifetime, increasing the “risk of developing diseases and behavior problems”.
By the end of my pregnancy with Aurora, my stress levels were through the roof. It was clear to see things were not going to work out with her father. He spent less and less time at home with me and “worked late” (or even overnight) several nights a week. Then, just before our daughter was born, he left his business altogether and started exhibiting signs of substance abuse. By the time she was born, I had been experiencing anxiety and hopelessness in the situation. And soon after, he left the picture and it was just me and baby girl.
And, as it turned out, Aurora is my only child who has suffered with behavioral issues and learning disabilities. Now, that’s not to say that my stress level directly caused this outcome. There are other factors to consider, including the lack of a father in the household in her younger years and the fact that her father himself has the same behavioral issues. But, I do feel that the stress I experienced was a factor. And I‘ve had to work hard to let go of the mom-guilt I held around that (maybe I should've just smoked the damn cigarette!)
So, what did I do? What do I wish I had done differently?
Well, let me tell you: eating ice cream and junk food and gaining 40 lbs was not the answer! Isolating myself with my problems was also not the answer. And fighting with my ex husband was definitely not the answer. I did it all wrong. But this was the pre-Google-on-your-smartphone answers-to-all-of-life’s-problems-at-the-tip-of-your-fingers era. And, besides the midwife’s advice on smoking a cigarette, there wasn’t much help coming my way on the subject.
Let me help save you the mom-guilt and throw some advice your way.
Here are 7 totally doable strategies (that I really wish I’d known about back-then), plus a bonus strategy, to help manage stress during pregnancy:
Yoga
I know this is super basic information these days - a regular yoga practice is great for stress! We all know this. But, you actually have to do the yoga on a regular basis to get the benefits. Which can be hard, especially if your stress is causing a lack of drive. Luckily, there are some great apps that gamify the exercise experience, making practicing daily connected to those addictive dopamine hits from your phone. If you’re not a tech person, then committing to an in-person class (if you pay for it, you’re more likely to do it!) is a great option to keep you in the habit, too. With 4 out of 5 of my pregnancies, I joined a prenatal yoga class - and they were worth every penny! Having the class tailored to your changing body is especially helpful.
Meditation
This one is another “duh”. But, again, you gotta make it a habit to reap the rewards. And, let's be real, meditation can be hard! Especially when your mind is already reeling with pregnancy anxieties and concentration is fleeting (i.e. “baby-brain”). But this one is worth the effort, as it has been shown in numerous studies to have profound effects. One study found that mindfulness meditation reduced “maternal anxiety and improve[d] pregnancy outcomes and delivery.” Another study found that “prenatal meditation has positive effect on newborn health…[and] positive effect on infant temperament.” Again, there are apps to help with keeping up with your practice, and some great free guided meditations can be found on Youtube and music apps, like Spotify. Make listening to these a pre-bedtime routine for the added bonus of better sleep!
Walking
Exercise is not only healthy for the body, but great for the mind and nervous system, as well. And you don’t need a gym membership to get out and walk. It can be done almost anywhere and anytime. Bonus if you can find a nice place in nature to walk, as being in nature in and of itself reduces stress! If you have other children at home, let them ride a bike or scooter and walk to a park and back. If you can get out on your own (and in a safe place where you don’t need to be vigilant of the sounds around you), use the time to catch up on your favorite podcast while you walk. Hate walking alone or need some accountability? Start a pregnancy walking group or enlist a few friends to go on regular walks with you.
Which brings me to tip #4…
Join a mom’s circle
There’s nothing like bouncing thoughts and ideas off of a group of women who totally get it. If you don’t already have a great group of mom-friends, browse Facebook or other social media, local news sources, libraries, coffee shops, etc. for a mom’s group that meets regularly. Can’t find one? Create one! Creating a strong network of social support now can help protect you from the “blues” in the postpartum period, as research indicates “social support is imperative for postpartum well-being.” You’ll have a whole crew of other mamas to sign up for your meal train, swing by to help you around the house, and to be there to listen as you unravel your birth story.
Journal daily
The act of journaling is a great way to unload the weights on your mind. Let those anxieties pour out onto the paper instead of holding on to them! Getting something down on paper is a great way to let it go - or to more deeply explore thoughts and feelings, if needed. Pick a beautiful notebook to keep at your bedside and make it a daily practice to write down your thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires each night before bed or each morning upon waking. If you’re not the creative writing type or you’re just having a hard time getting started, there are prompted journals out there that offer inspiration and guidance (like this one that we created especially for home birthers).
Anti-inflammatory diet and gut health
Have you heard about the gut/brain connection?? If not, go down a rabbit hole on this one. Research is concluding that our gut health has serious implications for our mental well being. I could do many multiple full blogs on the importance of nutrition in pregnancy. But, to keep it short and simple, following an anti-inflammatory diet (reduce or eliminate processed foods, excess sugars, trans-fats and additives) and adding some probiotic-rich foods daily to your diet (such as kefir, kombucha and fermented vegetables) is a great start.
Natural medicines
I recommend implementing all of the above first. But, if lifestyle changes alone aren’t cutting it, you may want to reach out to your midwife, doula or local herbalist about which calming herbs and supplements are safe for pregnancy.
Bonus idea
Invest in a counselor, mentor or coach: Don’t go it alone! Some guidance can be just what’s needed to navigate stress during pregnancy. If one-on-one therapy is not in the budget, there are some free resources out there. (I utilized HealthyStart while I was pregnant with Aurora for some free counseling.)
And don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Aurora Holistic Birth for prenatal coaching by yours, truly, if you think you could use some guidance and support with stress management during your pregnancy ♥️
