Letting Go of Resentment and Expectations
What to do when you're carrying it all — and he's not meeting you halfway.
If you're a mom, there's a to-do list running through your head before your feet hit the floor. The kids need breakfast, the laundry’s piling up, it's grocery day... But, your partner? He’s in the other room scrolling & sipping coffee, oblivious to the emotional and mental load crushing your chest.
You don’t feel like a wife anymore. You feel like a roommate. Or worse — a single mom with a man in the house.
And the resentment? It’s thick. Heavy. Simmering just beneath the surface.
If this is you — I see you, love. I’ve been you.
And I’m here to offer you the thing that changed everything for me — the radical act of letting go of expectation and choosing your own peace.
What Expectations Are Really Costing You
Here’s the truth: resentment is often just disappointment in disguise — disappointment that’s had time to marinate.
Behind every bitter thought ("Why doesn't he help more?" "Why do I always have to ask?") is a hidden expectation — often one you’ve never actually said out loud.
Maybe you expected:
That he’d notice how tired you are
That he’d offer emotional support without being asked
That he’d match your energy in parenting, housework, or growth
And when he doesn’t? The ache deepens. The chasm widens. And your nervous system stays in a low-simmer fight-or-flight mode.
But what if you could lay those expectations down — not in defeat, but in devotion to your own wellbeing?
How to Start Releasing the Weight
Take a moment and list out all the things you’re expecting from your partner right now. Be honest. No judgment.
Then go through one by one and decide:
KEEP: Is this a fair, reasonable ask that you can express clearly — without attaching your peace to whether he delivers?
MODIFY: Can this expectation be adjusted to reflect the reality of your life right now?
RELEASE: Is this costing you more than it’s worth?
Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop sacrificing your nervous system on the altar of someone else’s potential.
The Art of Energetic Boundaries
Here’s a phrase that saved my marriage and my sanity:
“I’ve decided to handle this myself rather than wait.”
It’s not cold. It’s clear.
You can ask for what you need without needing him to meet it in order for you to be okay. That’s sovereignty.
Try these scripts when you feel resentment creeping in:
“I need X. If you can’t do it, I’ll handle it another way.”
“That doesn’t work for me, so I’ll make other arrangements.”
“I’m choosing peace over waiting.”
Your tone can be kind or firm. The power is in your clarity — not your emotion.
Connection Doesn’t Have to Come From Him
One of the hardest truths I had to learn was this:
I was expecting one person to meet all my emotional needs. And he couldn’t.
He wasn’t wired for it. He wasn’t taught how. And honestly? He was barely keeping his own head above water.
So I widened the circle. I found:
Friends who supported without fixing
Mentors who reflected my growth
Circles of women who made me feel heard, wild, and whole again
Ask yourself:
Who gets you?
Who helps you feel like more than a mom?
Who reminds you of the woman you were before you forgot?
Those are your lifelines. Lean in.
Your Daily Resentment Reset Practice
When the bitterness builds (and it will), use this simple 4-step practice:
Pause: “I notice I’m feeling resentful.”
Identify: “The hidden expectation behind this is…”
Choose: “I choose my peace over this expectation.”
Redirect: Focus on something within your control — your breath, your body, your boundaries.
You can still want more. You just stop expecting him to be the source of it.
Final Truth: You Are Not Powerless
Letting go doesn’t mean letting go of love.
It means letting go of trying to get love in a way that’s not working.
It means choosing yourself.
It means protecting your energy.
It means remembering that you are worthy of peace, pleasure, and being deeply seen — whether or not he ever changes.
Your healing does not require his participation.
It starts with one brave, clear, sovereign decision:
I choose me.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this post cracked something open in you, I have a free self-led 5-day workshop to help you come home to you.
If you’re feeling lost, disconnected, and stuck in patterns of resentment — this 5-day reset was made for you. Each day is a gentle but potent practice to help you return to your body, your breath, your desire, and your truth.
