The Biggest Postpartum Mistake Almost Every New Mom Makes

Everyone congratulated me for "bouncing back."

Within days - or even hours - of giving birth, I was cleaning my house, hosting visitors, doing laundry, cooking meals, taking care of everyone else.

People told me I looked amazing. Like I hadn't even had a baby.

I thought I was killing it. Looking back, I realize I was slowly destroying my health.

After four of my five births, I experienced chronic mastitis, postpartum depression, nervous system dysregulation, exhaustion, pelvic floor dysfunction, and serious resentment that my husband couldn't read my mind and take over washing the 10,000 dirty cloth diapers...

I thought those things were just part of becoming a mother.

They weren't.

The first 40 days shape the next 40 years.

I didn't understand that until my fifth baby.

Many traditional cultures have protected postpartum for centuries. The mother rests. The community cooks. Family cleans. Friends show up with soup instead of expectations.

Because they understand something we've forgotten:

The baby isn't the only one being born.

A mother is being born, too.

She deserves care. She deserves nourishment. She deserves to heal.

By the time I got pregnant with my son, I knew something had to change.

I hired a postpartum doula.

I hired a house cleaner.

I asked my mom and mother-in-law to take the older kids for the first week.

I stocked my room with snacks, coconut water, diapers, and everything I needed so I could actually stay in bed.

And perhaps hardest of all... I learned to ask for help.

Not hint.

Not sigh dramatically while angrily folding laundry.

Actually ask.

"Can you throw in a load of diapers?"

"I need dinner tonight."

"I need you to hold the baby so I can shower."

Turns out my husband wasn't a mind reader. (Who knew?)

Everything shifted when I started giving people the opportunity to love and care for me, as well.

A Few Things I Hope Every New Mom Knows

• Make a postpartum plan, not just a birth plan.

• Build your village before the baby arrives.

• Follow the 5-5-5 Rule: 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days near the bed.

• Say yes when someone offers to bring dinner.

• Say yes when someone offers to fold laundry.

• Say yes when someone offers to hold the baby while you nap.

• Rest - because your body needs it.

• And please... Let people mother you.

If you need help creating your postpartum plan, reach out here and I'll gladly and lovingly support you in the process.