Be a boss babe, but bring your baby to work.

I get this question a lot: How the heck do you get so much work done with all your kids around?? So, today I’m here to share my secrets. But, before the “how”, there’s the “why”.

Be a 'Boss Babe'. But bring your babies to work.

I've spent nearly two decades working with my children. Literally. Taking my kids to work with me and/or working at home with them underfoot. I’ve brought infants in wraps into the office, wore babies on my back while cleaning houses, had toddlers sit in on college lectures and utilized the dreaded screen-time in order to do Zoom calls in peace. Why? Because I’d be damned before I’d pay someone else to raise my kids or stick them into the public school system so that I could make money. 

I was a single mom for over 6 years, so I had to perfect the art of working with a kid around if I wanted to keep Aurora, my eldest, out of daycare. And with the horror stories I had heard about my local daycares - the worst being that a baby had been left in a hot bus to die that year - I was extremely determined to keep her with me. 

Obviously me, her mother - who loved and understood her needs best - was the best qualified to raise her. But how could I afford to keep a roof over her head if I kept her at home? Wasn’t staying home with your kids some kid of “privilege”? (That’s actually a lie that’s been perpetuated to keep children in the system.) The hell with that!

I couldn’t get child support because my ex was in rehab and then jail and then rehab again. I couldn’t qualify for welfare because I wouldn’t comply with the authoritarian requirements. I didn’t have a sugar daddy or rich relative or anybody else that wanted to pay for our lives… So, working was the only option for me. And with only a GED, my options were limited. So, I became a nanny and housekeeper. Both jobs where I could bring Aurora with me. I became my own boss. Made my own schedule. Enrolled in school part time. And a lot of the time, my daughter was along for the ride!

And then I did it four more times. Rebalancing work and home life after the birth of each of my children. Not out of necessity, but because I enjoy having my own businesses!

Entrepreneurship is just in my blood.

So, what’s the secret?

Well, there’s no magic trick or life hack that will guarantee success. That’s up to you. And I won’t lie and say it’s all sooo easy - it is work! And sometimes (okay, almost all of the time) working with a kid around is harder work than working without one. But, the rewards of keeping your kids with you and modeling work ethic and responsibility is 100% worth any inconvenience. So, if you want or need to make money while you are still caring for little ones, here are a few “secrets” I’ve learned along the way.

The first secret: Be flexible and expect flexibility.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from raising kids, it’s flexibility and patience! (A toddler is your best teacher for this.) Working with your children around requires flexibility from you and your job. Your bosses, clients or customers must also understand this. Kids get sick, have bad days, make messes and are sometimes loud. It’s not about making your kids conform to unreasonable workplace standards, it’s about your workplace conforming to kids being around. Part of this is recognizing and immersing yourself in the current revolution changing the very way we look at working mothers. (If you want a deep dive into this, follow @themillionairemother )

Once your mindset is right about this, there are some practical things to consider. When I brought Aurora to my housekeeping jobs, I made sure to bring plenty of activities and snacks for her. I set out clear boundaries. I let her help with things she could do, like folding washcloths or dusting. I was always upfront with my cleaning clients before I was hired: the reality is, my kid is going to be hanging out in your house all day! Now, when I have clients on Zoom calls, they understand that there is the possibility of interruption for a butt wipe or boo-boo. Shit happens. Literally. And it’s still my job to clean it up, even if it’s also my job to coach you on how to deal with it, too!

The second secret: Adaptation = Survival.

Each phase of childhood has its own set of unique challenges to adapt to. And each individual child has their own temperament to consider. Infants can be held in wraps most of the day, while most 18 month olds are little whirlwinds getting into everything. Bigger children can be great helpers, but they will then have their own priorities and schedules to consider. You will need the ability to change your workflow to meet the needs of your changing children. Your work style will also need to adapt to having children around. If you’re used to working in a quiet office alone, kiss those days goodbye unless you have a nanny! I’ve adapted some specific tricks that have kept me productive/sane.

One trick I’ve learned is to turn my ears off on command. Yes, I have perfected the art of tuning my kids out! As I sit here working on this blog, I have a 9 year old next to me doing loom bracelets and singing, “Thunder. Feel the thunder. Lightning and the thunder.” over and over. It drives my husband CRAZY! But, the kids can be yelling or singing at the top of their lungs, and if I'm In the zone, I don’t hardly even notice. This is not an innate ability. I had to train myself to do it out of necessity. When I was a single mom in college, sometimes I had paper deadlines and had to write now whether I had childcare or not. I’ve learned to stay tuned in to things that are serious, like a cry of pain. But, I can totally shut out the (sometimes very loud) sounds of play.

I have learned to type one-handed. I am literally doing this right now as I write this blog. This was born of the necessity to type while breastfeeding, and it has come in handy literally a thousand times over the total of 13 years I’ve spent breastfeeding. I have also mastered the art of getting complex tasks done in small chunks, knowing there will be many interruptions. I break up a larger task into bite-sized pieces that can be accomplished during times when the kids are occupied, like ballet rehearsal or a nap. You will adapt your own set of super powers to fit your needs.

The third secret: Will Power.

You have to remember the “WHY”. 

My “why” has always been super salient: I want to raise my own kids full-time because that’s what’s best for them. That’s not to say babysitters, nannies or tutors are a bad thing. Not at all! In fact, I think having a support team behind you is super important, and (now that I can afford it) I employ trusted helpers several days a week. By “raising my kids full-time” I mean keeping them out of the system. I homeschool. I feed them made-from-scratch meals. I know what they are up to and who they are around. I am passing down wisdom and teaching them about life with daily rituals and conversations. I value and prioritize our relationship. 

I have moments where I say, “I can see why people just stick their kids in a school!” 8 straight hours of uninterrupted work time would be amazing sometimes! But sooo NOT worth the tradeoff of missing out on all of the beautiful bonding and teaching moments those 8 hours with my kids would afford. Keeping that in mind gives me the strength to get through those moments of frustration. If something is important enough (e.g., the ability to homeschool or pay bills and keep a roof over your head), then you will be able to muster the will-power to get creative and find ways to adapt to the various needs of both your work and children.

A bonus outcome of working with your children is teaching your kids entrepreneurship and financial responsibility. Had I not modeled how to run your own business for Aurora her whole life, I doubt she would have felt empowered to start her career in birthwork at age 17. Had I not been there to guide her, I doubt my 9 year old would have baked and sold enough cookies to purchase a nice art tablet with her own money. #winning

I wholeheartedly believe that our #1 job as mothers is to be mothers. But, being a great mother doesn’t mean we can’t also be a boss babe, too <3