How to Cultivate Inner Abundance & an Attitude of Gratitude
Are you a victim of your life? Is your life “happening to you”?
OR
Are you the director of your life? Are you the main character in your one-of-a-kind Choose Your Own Adventure story?
If you find yourself feeling resentful about all of the things you have to do (for your family, job, kids, partner…just to keep all of the balls in the air) or living in the “if/then” future (if I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy”), then you may be unwittingly living in victim consciousness, the helpless victim to all of the things happening to you in your life. Without agency. Waiting for things to change - or looking for an exit.
I spent a lot of years being resentful. There was a long list of “I have to”s that I used to justify my martyrdom.
This is what my everyday narrative sounded like:
“I have to cook dinner”
“I have to do the dishes”
“I have to put the kids to bed”
“I have to work on this project”
“I have to spend some time with my husband”
“I have to….”
And it was easy to blame my ‘lot in life’ or the ‘state of the world’ for my unhappiness:
“I’d be happier if the world weren’t so screwed up!”
“I’d be happier if x,y and z were different.”
“I’d be happier when I got the thing, did the thing, and if so-and-so would just change!”
But, guess what’s easier to change than someone or something else? Your own mindset!
Going from “I have to” mentality to “I get to” mentality.
It’s a subtle mindset change, but it can change your life!
Imagine if you GOT to do your life instead of HAD to?
Try this on:
I don’t “have to” do anything.
I have the immense privilege of getting to live this life.
I don’t have to cook dinner.
I get to choose which companies to support when I go grocery shopping. I get to choose which foods will best nourish my family. I get to try new recipes and hone my cooking skills.
I don’t have to deal with my kids.
I get to raise these beautiful children. I get to hold them through their tantrums. I get to be their rock and their guiding light.
I don’t have to deal with my partner's BS.
I get to hold space for my partner’s difficult emotions. I get to be the one who can help regulate their nervous system. I get to be the one to see their demons and choose to love them anyway.
I don’t have to deal with my crappy situation.
I get to work through this difficult time. I get to have another opportunity for growth. I get to learn more about myself through these challenges.
The trick is to catch yourself every time you say or think “I have to” and turn the thought or words into “I get to.”
The "Attitude of Gratitude"
The second part of this mindset shift is in being thankful for what we have now, rather than always looking at what’s missing.
When you’re in “need” energy, you’re in scarcity energy. And when you’re needing something, paradoxically, you are actually energetically repelling it!
When you’re in “have” energy, you’re in abundance energy. And abundance energy actually magnetizes things to you!
It’s also hard to be happy if you are always living in the future. When you’re in “if/then” thinking, you’re always waiting for the future to get here in order to be happy. Rather than needing things to change in order for your inner landscape to change, try finding reverence, gratitude and abundance in all of the things you have right now in this very moment and see how your inner landscape changes!
Here are some practices that have helped me to cultivate an inner abundance and an “attitude of gratitude”:
Saying what we’re thankful for at dinner time
Saying what we’re thankful for at bedtime
Recognizing the good in people and circumstances, or the “silver lining” of any situation
Looking for the abundance in my life at this very moment, especially when I’m feeling bleak
Enjoying the process of everything I’m doing, rather than focusing on the outcome
If you tried any of these mindset changes, I’d love to hear how it affected you!
